Archives for March 2015

3 Steps to Boost Daily Resilience

3 Steps to Boost Daily Resilience

By Tony Madril, LCSW, BCD

 Step 1.  Set an intention for the day

An intention is not about setting outcome-driven goals like we’re used to, it’s about deciding how we would like to meet the circumstances of our day as they unfold. In other words, it’s an attitude that, much like the rudder on a boat, allows us to gently guide how we might react to circumstances outside-of-our-control. For example, I might set an intention upon waking that “Just for today, I will pause before reacting to anything potentially upsetting.” This intention will, then, prime me throughout the day to be more thoughtful about the decisions I make. As a by-product of this daily practice, I may find that my days are more peaceful and I am more satisfied with myself as a person.

Step 2. Meditate for three minutes 

In mindfulness there is an instructional model called the “Triangle of Awareness,” which suggests that knowing ourselves, and how we relate to the world, is founded upon our awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and body sensations at any given moment. Cultivating such focused attention through meditation can help us become less reactive to undesirable life events such as the loss of a job or relationship. The 3-Minute Breathing Space for Resilience, a guided meditation, can help us develop such a fulfilling discipline. It creates a space to stop and notice what is “good” with us in the midst of a busy day. You may listen to this guided meditation by clicking on the following audio link… 3-Minute Breathing Space for Resilience

 Step 3. Practice accepting what you cannot control

It’s only human to try to control things, especially when we are feeling anxious or afraid. The problem with trying to control is that we really don’t have control over much of anything but ourselves, and trying to control typically creates problems: as an alternative, try approaching whatever distressing situation you’re facing with an attitude of acceptance. You might say to yourself: “I may not like it, but I accept that this is how things are right now” and “I accept that this situation makes me feel anxious.”If you find this particularly difficult to do, you might also acknowledge that nothing stays the same for very long, including your problems: emotions eventually settle; people change their minds; physical pain ebbs and flows. Can you think of a problem you thought was unending and is now a thing-of-the-past? 

 

 

 

Transform Difficult Relationships with Mindfulness

Read my newest article about using the tools of mindfulness to transform the way we relate to others…

Transform Difficult Relationships with Mindfulness